Views: Stranger within me
What is the motherhood? It is a constant searching for self identity.
An identity which is not integral, it is interrupted, divided, named anew just like still remembered experiences of the end of the child-birth such as: a sense of duality and fear of losing control of one’s own body. An installation is an attempt to deal with these experiences. Taking these photographs I left behind my present world above for a while and I descended underground to my studio in a basement. Pictures revealed themselves from the darkness but I took them with me and only above the ground did I give them their proper form. This action itself was an attempt to conjoin the divided.
“Views” in Polish means what we called (as little girls) beautiful images of flowers and ribbons behind the glass. They were buried, hidden to be revealed after some time in the same place, to be uncovered and admired.
The photographs are made using analog, classical technics, but in the specific way. Large, irregular grain, blur, dust and scratches. I am using that specific technique or I should rather say: ‘antitechnique’, because I believe it form a kind of curtain, screening off the image from a spectator, so it pretends to be concealed. Therefore the image must be excavated, scratched out from under the surface to become visible. And through this apparent act, picture again and again comes into being. All of those photographs are made in the kind of darkness and develop by the high push process. Then the films are put and stick together and paint. Next they are scanned and printed. This constructive process is a very important way to express the questions of twofold, complexity and separation which could be seen in the level of creation and in the level of picture as well.
I often think of image as a sign, something indistinct, what shows through all the scratches and cracks of the surface – reflection of what has got its equivalent in the inner world.